Any Other Way
by whereistruth
Summary: Buffy and Spike share a song stuck in their heads... and maybe more. SONG FIC


A song fic, inspired by the wonderful song "Bitch" by Meredith Brooks.  
  
  
  
**I hate the world today  
  
You're so good to me, I know  
  
but I can't change**  
  
Spike scowled as he flipped through the stations on the radio he had stolen. "Not a bit of good music in this damned 'ellmouth," he muttered to himself. As he hit upon a station, however, he heard a familiar tune. He settled back into his chair with a grin on his face. "Bitch" always made him think of Dru. But an unbidden image of a petite blonde came to him suddenly, and he found his thoughts straying farther from Dru and closer to the Slayer.  
  
-----  
  
Being athletically and combatively inclined, there was nothing Buffy hated more than schoolwork. However, settled in the library with a pair of headphones snugly over her ears wasn't the worst way to go about it. She heard the opening guitar chords of a song she liked and she turned it up slightly, eyeing the other patrons to see if her music was noticed.  
  
Rather than staying focused on the other readers in the library or even the more urgent homework at hand, Buffy found herself listening intently to the lyrics of the song and applying them to people. Well... person. Okay, vampire. He really *is* good to me most of the time. We had sort of lessened the fighting even before the chip was in. She visibly shook her head, almost like a swimmer trying to get water from his ear. A small smile surfaced on her face at that thought, and she vowed to settle down to her homework.  
  
**Tried to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath,  
  
innocent and sweet**  
  
She winced at the name of her ex-lover in the song, but didn't it really make sense? Spike always acts like I try to be perfect... like I strive to be the moral, upstanding citizen. So what if it's my job to kill bearers of evil? I'm not a good little mama's girl or anything. I could prove that to him... she thought wickedly, a delighted heat spreading over her. Damn, this homework is messing me up bad. Why am I thinking like this? FOCUS!  
  
-----  
  
He growled almost imperceptibly as he heard the poof's name in the song. I bet if she were listening to this, she would have flinched. She would have hurt over that. Bloody goddamned idiot, if you ask me. To walk away from *her*? Best thing he ever had. What did that chit sing? 'Angel underneath'? There's the problem. She always looks at me like she expects to see him pop out of me somewhere, just because I'm from his bloodline. Well, I tell you one thing, this childe's no idiot. I wouldn't have left her if I'd ever had the chance. He pondered this train of thought for a moment, questioning where it came from. Since when was the Slayer anything more than a pest? A very attractive, intelligent, sexy, infuriating- damn! The blonde vampire laid his bleached head on his hands, trying to convince himself that pig blood made vampires delirious.  
  
**Yesterday I cried. You must have been relieved to see the softer side,  
  
I can understand how you'd be so confused, I don't envy you.  
  
I'm a little bit of everything all rolled into one**  
  
He growled and lashed out at the radio, managing to knowck the batteries out of it and silence Meredith Brooks, but the words still ran through his head. He stalked out the door and walked blindly, trying to leave his errant thoughts behind.  
  
-----  
  
She sighed and slammed her books shut as she turned off the radio. No more homework tonight. It was making her crazy. She gathered up her things and left the library, the lyrics to the silenced song continuing in her head.  
  
-----  
  
The bleach blonde vamp stalked through the streets of Sunnydale, neither looking nor caring where he was going, trying to push the song out of his tortured mind. With the contradictory phrases of the chorus, a series of pictures flashed through his mind and he gritted his teeth and tried to block both the pictures and the feelings they brought to the surface.  
  
**I'm a bitch, I'm a lover**  
  
He saw her in fighting stance, making biting remarks about him, about Dru, about everything that he cared about. He felt a flash of the familiar rage he had grown accustomed to when he fought her fruitlessly. Just as quickly as those images came, he saw her gazing into Angel's eyes and felt the twist in his heart that signaled jealousy. He saw them in that magic shop when it was more than apparent that she loved Angel more than was good for her.  
  
**I'm a child, I'm a mother**  
  
Spike saw her hugging Joyce and taking advice from Giles, then saw her leading her group and taking care of them all.  
  
**I'm a sinner, I'm a saint, I do not feel ashamed**  
  
He saw her defying her Council, doing whatever she damned well pleased, and he saw her fighting for good, always knowing right from wrong. He saw the proud tilt of her head and the confident gleam in her eye that challenged everyone to prove her wrong.  
  
**I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way**  
  
He fisted his hands at the sides of his head, willing the song to go away The last bit of the chorus had hit home. His hell-it was her duty to kill him, to keep him from doing what was in his blood. But he had, somehow and somewhere along the line, fallen for her. And he wasn't sure he wanted to change that.  
  
-----  
  
"I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, you know you wouldn't want it any other way," Buffy sang under her breath, not even realizing she was doing it as she made her way to Giles' house. Tonight, of all nights, she needed the ever-sane presence of her Watcher. Fleeting thoughts about Spike were one thing, but this new... awareness of her feelings for him was ridiculous. Feelings? All of a sudden I have *feelings* for him??!! She sighed, pushed her hair out of her eyes, and continued singing under her breath, now analyzing every phrase.  
  
"So take me as I am  
  
This may mean you'll have to be a stronger man  
  
Rest assured that when I start to make you nervous  
  
And I'm going to extremes  
  
Tomorrow I will change  
  
and today won't mean a thing-"  
  
She cut off abruptly as her Slayer sense tingled. Before she could turn, however, she heard the rich voice, the English accent, as the vampire huskily murmured a question in response to her singing. "Is all that an offer, love?"  
  
-----  
  
He had hardly believed his eyes when he saw her walking with an armload of books toward the Watcher's neighborhood, and his disbelief grew to enormous proportions when he heard what she was singing. What are the odds, he pondered dizzily, of her singing this? With a nervousness he hadn't felt in years, he had approached her, tried his best to be nonchalant and as flirtatious as he usually was, and prayed she would take the question seriously.  
  
-----  
  
She smiled a little bit and ignored the heat she felt in her stomach and the flutter that accompanied it. She tried to think of a witty response to his query, but in her flustered state, her mind drew nothing but blanks. Inspiration struck, and she answered him:  
  
"Just when you think you got me figured out  
  
The season's already changin'  
  
I think it's cool you do whatcha do  
  
and don't try to save me"  
  
-----  
  
He had heard her heartbeat speed up when she had realized who was behind her, and Spike noted that her heart began to sound like a rabbit's when she heard his low-voiced question. As suddenly as he had realized his own feelings, he realized that she had the same for him. He wasted no time in gathering her in his arms. Her eyes widened a bit and she clung to his trademark leather duster for a moment, then she let herself be held by him.  
  
"What is going on?" she asked quietly, and was answered with a kiss that shook her to the bottom of her soul. He wordlessly and effortlessly picked her up, not breaking the kiss, and carried her back to the cemetery. As she lay in his arms and whispered his name when he kissed her, the song raged on in his head.  
  
**I'm a bitch, I'm a tease, I'm a goddess on my knees  
  
When you're hurt, When you suffer  
  
I'm your angel undercover**  
  
Her eyes widened a bit, and he knew that she was thinking the same thing he was, that they had both been thinking of the fateful song. He also knew that she had just reached the same part he had.  
  
"*I'm* your Angel now, love. I love you. I think I always 'ave." His admission was quiet, but she heard it clearly. Tears welled in her eyes as he sang her the last part of the song.  
  
"I've been numb  
  
I'm revived  
  
Can't say I'm not alive-" This earned a smile from her as he laid her down on the makeshift bed he had made and began to prove his love to her.  
  
----  
  
Hours later, after the pair had talked, made love, and laid in one another's arms, they realized that they had not finished the song. As their lips formed simultaneously around the final words, they knew they meant exactly what they were saying.  
  
"You know I wouldn't want it any other way..." 


End file.
